Nisi - Fun - Englische Cookies

A train station is a station where a train stops.
But what the hell is a workstation?

"Try not to become a man of success, but rather, try to become a man of value." - Albert Einstein.

"I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today." William Allen White

"I believe that every right implies a responsibility; every opportunity, an obligation; every possession, a duty." - John D. Rockefeller

"I'm always fascinated by the way memory diffuses fact." - Diane Sawyer

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. - Samual Clemmens

"Common sense is instinct. Enough of it is Genius." - George Bernard Shaw

"Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own." -Doug Larson

"I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem" - Ashleigh Brilliant

Misfortune: The kind of fortune that never misses.

Any small object that is accidentally dropped will hide under a larger object.

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.

There's always one more bug.

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you Can't Fool Mom.

Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

It is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the problem.

Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

Modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again.

In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired.

Science is true. Don't be misled by facts.

Among economists, the real world is often a special case.

One good reason why computers can do more work than people is that they never have to stop and answer the phone.

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

The IQ of the group is the lowest IQ of a member of the group divided by the number of people in the group.

Love at first sight is one of the greatest labor-saving devices the world has ever seen.

To determine how long it will take to write and debug a program, take your best estimate, multiply that by two, add one, and convert to the next higher units.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. -- Mae West.

When God endowed human beings with brains, He did not intend to guarantee them.

If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think they'll hate you.

Computing Definition

Printout - A document to verify data you know is wrong anyway.
Programmer - Red eyed mumbling mammal, capable of communicating with inanimate objects.
Source file - One which was "appropriated" from one of the competitors.
Switch - When management changes its mind.

Anyone who can see through a woman is missing a lot.

Make love, not war; get married and do both!

Marijuana is nature's way of saying "high".

Money can't buy friends but it can buy a better class of enemy. - Spike Milligan.

Neurotics build castles in the air. Psychotics live in them, and Psychiatrists charge them rent.

Reality is for people who cannot cope with science fiction.

Sado-masochism means not having to say you're sorry.

Save trees, eat more beavers.

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

The reason that people here get lost in thought is because it's such unfamiliar territory.

The trouble with political jokes is that they get elected.

We are the people our parents warned us about.

Welsh men only marry Welsh women because sheep can't cook.

Rules of the game
Do not believe in miracles - rely on them.
Don't force it, get a large hammer.
Experiments should be reproducable, - they should all fail in the same way.
Finagle's First Law: If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
Finagle's Fourth Law: Once a job is messed up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.
First Law of Advice: The correct advice is to give the advice that is desired.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
I have yet to see any problem, which, when you looked at it the right way, did not become still
more complicated.
If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
If an experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.

If little else, the brain is an educational toy. - Tom Robbins

If you put your supper dish to your ear you can hear the sounds of a restaurant. - Snoopy.

In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.

Information travels more surely to those with a lesser need to know.

Monday is a hard way to spend one-seventh of your life. - Garfield

Negative slack tends to increase.

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

The chief cause of problems is solutions.

The usefulness of a meeting is inversely proportional to its attendance.

Two wrongs do not make a right; it usually takes three or more.

Under the most rigorously controlled conditions, the experimental apparatus will do exactly as it pleases.

When all else fails, read the manual.

When things are going well, somebody will experiment detrimentally.

When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

Why can't lifes's big problems come when we are twenty and know everything ?

In the beginning was the word - and the word was four bytes. (from the bible?)

When I am right nobody remembers... When I am wrong nobody forgets!

What you can not avoid, Welcome.